Friday, February 7, 2014

The Quiet Life

When lot's of change happen's, it's not as exciting to an introvert as it is to an extrovert. Getting married sounds like fun unless your terrified of getting up in front of three hundred people and being the center of attention for four hours. Absolutely the most terrifying thing ever, yes, but also one of the best day's ever. As an introvert I don't remember all the people I had to talk to, I just remember my husband who took the lead on talking to everyone.

Moving to a new town is scary, especially for an introvert who was kind of sort of comfortable with her old friends. Now having to make new friends is a new challenge. They won't know anything about you. They won't know how socially awkward you are and might just think you are weird, you will actually have to talk, and worst of all you'll have to talk about yourself.

The plus side about getting married and moving to a new town is being alone. Not the bad alone, but the good alone. Where there's time to sit a home, start a new hobby, read books, and just relax in silence without anyone calling you to go to a party or have lunch and discuss life. The quiet life is nice.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

The Wall and Fire Breathing Dragons

Introverts, or at least myself, have this imaginary brick wall that tends to pop up frequently. I can go out and be with large groups of people and even talk to them all day, but after so much the wall magically appears and I font want to be around anyone anymore. Unfortunately I don't just stop in front of this imaginary wall, I smack into it. The wall is controlled by my inner introvert telling me that she has had enough interaction for one day, and that if not taken home immediately she will turn into the equivalent of a very grumpy fire breathing dragon. This wall is kind of inconvenient at times, especially when I'm with a large group of friends and for some reason or another I can not leave. I get quiet and moody beyond control. I know I'm being quiet and a little rude, and I really do want to stop, but I just cant. Its literally like the fire breathing dragon has completely taken over. There's no getting me in a better mood, unless taken home, and even then if it takes to long there is just no getting happy again what so ever.

My fiance is learning about the wall and the fire breathing dragon behind it. He doesn't completely understand though. Especially when I've been at school and work interacting people all day and just want to stay home and watch a movie. I myself am learning how to cope with this looming wall that seems to follow me around and the uncontrollable monster lurking behind it. I'm starting to know when its coming up so I can just stay at home and remain in a good mood. Maybe one day the wall will get pushed back and the grumpy fire breathing dragon will be tamed a little better, but for now I just have to live with it.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Expectations vs. Disappointment

Introverts apparently have a different way of setting expectations. Honestly, I thought it was just me. I was talking to my fiance about how setting high expectations only leads to let downs and he disagrees completely.  My thought is that if you set low expectations then there is no where to go but up. For example, expecting to get an A in the class and working for it never works, for me anyway. So I set low expectations I aim for B's and when I get A's I'm ecstatic, and even when I get a B I'm not disappointed  It all works out in the end and I don't feel bad about myself. Its great!

On the other hand, my fiance thinks that it is just dumb to set low expectations. He believes that high expectations make people work harder... But he doesn't realize that introverts aren't like other people. We have a different way of doing things and, for me anyway, I cant handle disappointment very well. I also thought I was the only one who set low expectations, but apparently my fiance has another friend, who is introverted of course, who does the same thing! Its great to know that I'm not the only low expectation setter who works hard and rarely ever gets disappointed.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Communication and the Color Red

The hardest part about being super introverted, for me anyway, is talking to people. Especially people I'm not completely comfortable with. They always wonder why I'm quiet, well its because I have the hardest time carrying on conversations. Usually, though not all the time, I'll try to jump into a conversation to be social  and people literally just stop talking. I feel like a conversation murder half the time. Its like there's no connection between me and extroverts. I can have perfectly great and wonderful conversation with other introverts. We connect... not so much with others and there's always those few people in the world that when I first meet them we can have a good long talk, but most of the time I just embarrass myself. Its not because I say stupid things, its because I have this horrible curse (that's what I like to call it anyway), where my face turns bright red when I speak. It is absolutely dreadful! It doesn't matter what I say, my face will always turn red, and I know its turning red so then I get even more embarrassed and of course it just turns more red....

Someday I will figure out how to deal with this 'curse' other than just not talking to people. I do enjoy conversations, just not when my face turns as red as a tomato because I said "Hi". Some say my blush is cute and endearing, but for me it is just annoying.

P.S. Having conversations with people that have the same problem with me always makes it better. For both of us!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Being a Introvert in an Extroverted World

Being an introvert in a world full of extroverts can be difficult at times. Believe me when I say I know. I'm marrying a full on extrovert. Making it from day to day with lots of interaction can be stressful and sometimes way to overwhelming, and most people just don't understand when you say that you just want to sit at home and chill. Introverts are a special kind of people that are a little different than everyone else. We need less human interaction, and actually prefer it that way. Spending hours to ourselves without talking to a single person and actually enjoying it is our way of life. It's not weird or antisocial, its just who we are. Sometimes it can be new and scary adventure in A Day in the Life of an Introvert.

For me personally everyday is a new and challenging adventure. Going to school, talking with my project groups... actually just talking to people in general can be difficult. I've noticed as I've gotten older my social skills have gone down the drain and I'm often putting myself, and the people I'm talking with, in to those 'awkward silences'. Plus if I happen to be around a lot of people in a short period of time my mood tends to get worse and worse as the day goes on, and I want to just go home and be by myself more and more. People always thought I was being odd and antisocial. Truthfully, I do enjoy being around people and my friends, just not all the time. I like human interaction and doing fun stuff, but not as much as most people. Reading books, taking naps or baths, or even just hanging out with my dog is enough to keep me happy. To me it seems like this world is becoming more difficult for introverts to live in. Everything evolves around sticking yourself out there and having all the attention on you [which freaks me out like no other]! Introverts may be all over the place, but people would never know because we don't throw ourselves out there, which is a shame because I believe we have some pretty special qualities that extroverts do not have. To be an introvert in an extroverted world is going to take a lot of work, and of course some time alone.